A week of firsts

Some good, some not so good. 

A couple of days ago Jackson went to stay with my mother in law for what was supposed to be a couple of hours. It ended up being about four as the restaurant we went to for my mothers birthday had shockingly long wait times (it was pretty bad guys, about half the restuarant goers left and the other half weren’t too happy either). She enjoyed babysitting immensely and I’ll admit it was nice to have a small break.

Then last night I went to hospital to get a lump that had become quite painful on my abdomen checked out. I thought it was just a bite of some sort but it turns out it’s a boil and it had become infected. They drained it, dressed it and fed me some antibiotics through a drip. My bloods came back fine so I was allowed to go home in between doses. They’ve kept the lure in and I have to go back tonight for another dose. Unfortunately though the lure makes using my arm too much a bit painful and the position of the boil affects my ability to sit or move around too much without pain so my mother came and collected Jackson last night and is looking after him for a couple of days while I rest. I’ve just done my first night without him and I miss him so much. Here’s hoping everything goes well and it doesn’t get worse so he can come home sooner rather than me having to go to hospital if it gets worse.

On the bright side, Jackson has started to smile this week and my heart could just melt every time he does. He certainly doesn’t seem to mind staying with nana!


The Bad Mum Brigade

It frustrates me to no end to see so many mothers that feel like they need to point out their ‘bad mum’ moments and justify themselves before the bad mum brigade get in there first. I see it with friends, I see it with mum blogs, I see it all over social media… and it’s just so sad that all these ‘perfect parents’ make others feel like they need to do this to avoid criticism. 

The pressure to do what’s considered ‘right’, the expectation to be perfect parents 24/7, 365… it’s just so unnecessary. No one is perfect. Everyone has moments as parents where they wonder if they did the right thing, where they think ‘maybe I could have handled that better’, where they make mistakes. It’s normal. So why do we stress so much over what other people think? We’re all just trying our best and what works for one may not work for another. 

Your baby is breast fed? Awesome! Your baby is on formula? That’s great! Your babies are fed and well nourished. You stay at home with the kids? Fabulous! Your kids go to daycare while you work? Amazing! You’re doing what works best for your family. 

Never let anyone make you feel like you are anything less than an amazing parent. Never make anyone else feel like they aren’t as good a parent because they made different choices. We’re all human. We all try our best for our kids and that’s what they’re going to remember; that we tried, that we did our best to provide for them, nurture them, teach them and keep them safe… and that’s all that matters. 

Parenting, Uncategorized

Time Flies

My pregnancy has flown by. Seriously, where did all the time go? One minute it’s July and we’ve only just found out about the life growing inside me and then boom, I blink and it’s suddenly February. What.

I’m now 36 weeks and time doesn’t seem to be slowing down like everyone says it does. Sure, the day feels like it drags a bit (especially now that I’m off work) but the weeks are still passing by with a decent amount of speed. Our baby will be here in no time and that is both exciting and terrifying.

Seriously though, it’s terrifying.

In roughly 4 weeks, we will be responsible for a tiny human that depends on us entirely. We’re both completely new at this and no matter how prepared we think we are, no matter how ready we feel, I don’t think anyone is ever truly ready to be a parent. No amount of reading can prepare you for what actually lies ahead. There’ll be things we end up doing as parents that we swore we never would back in our days of blissful ignorance. There will be times where we questions ourselves and our abilities. Are we doing the right thing? Are we being good parents? There will be tears, there will be tantrums. We’ll make mistakes. I’m no idiot – I know parenting is hard, but I also realise that I really cannot comprehend exactly how  hard it is until I experience it for myself.

But it’s also seriously exciting.

We tried for this baby for 14 months. As I write this, he is kicking around in there. There’s a baby inside me. Holy shit. For the past eight months he has been growing in there, developing all that he will need for when he enters this world and oh my god, am I excited to meet him. What will he look like? What will he smell like? What will he sound like? He knows my voice, he knows Charles’ voice, he knows my heartbeat. He knows me pretty well by now, soon it will be our turn to get to know him. Soon, we will hold him. Soon, the baby’s room will not be empty. Soon, our family of two will be three.

Really fucking soon.


Parenting, Pregnancy

And so it began…

In 2013, my marriage began and so did the never-ending chain of surprised reactions whenever people found out that I’ve been married since the age of 18, often followed by the question of children as if that were the only logical explanation for getting married so young. No, we just love each other. Yes, it is crazy isn’t it.

Fast forward three years. Charles (the husband) had just been promoted at work and we were seeking help in trying for a baby after 14 months with no luck. I had just finished my first cycle of blood monitoring (checking my hormone levels for ovulation) and we didn’t have much hope for that month as my levels were too low to suggest ovulation at the time the bloods were taken. Cue me worrying that I was the problem.

Soon came that time of the month. I hadn’t really been paying attention to my cycle as I was sick of the disappointment. I knew I was late, wasn’t sure how late however, and any symptoms I may have once spotted I put down to me being sick at the time.

Late at night on July 6th I had the urge to pee and figured I may as well get this month’s negative out of the way. Only it wasn’t negative. The second line that had eluded me for over a year suddenly jumped out at me. The control line hadn’t even shown up yet and there it was. Our positive.

I was in shock. I called out to Charles who came running, thinking that I had seen a spider or something. Instead, I showed him the test and he said ‘you’re kidding me!?’ to which I promptly nodded and burst into tears. I was shaking. I called my best friend, still crying, and managed to stutter the news out. We then called our parents to give them the good news (as you can probably tell, we’re not that good at secrets haha). The next morning I woke up to killer heartburn and had to send Charles out for some sort of relief.

And so it began.